Day 208 - Mr. President, You have Blood on your Hands

Dear Mr. President,

Because of you, racists are alive and well in our country, Mr. President. They are crawling out of the woodwork, and they are looking at you as their leader in chief. You did this. You used a common phrase from Hitler for your own campaign slogan. The White Supremacists were watching and cheering. You incited violence on multiple occasions. The White Supremacists were watching and cheering. You repeatedly attacked President Obama’s citizenship. The White Supremacists were watching and cheering. You failed to distance yourself from the KKK and David Duke and your attempts to later “disavow” were weak at best. The White Supremacists were watching and cheering. Even now, David Duke promises to fulfill your campaign promises. And the White Supremacists? They are ready. You have mastered whataboutism, the common Soviet propaganda move, and the White Supremacists have studied your rhetorical moves and have mastered them, better than you ever will.

They have been emboldened by your words, your behavior, and your inability to call evil by its name:

They are Racists. 

They are Bigots.

They are Terrorists.

Photograph from @m1523751

Because of you, 3 people are dead and 19 are wounded. Because of you, a community has been terrorized. One woman, at a rally counter-protesting the White Supremacists: dead because of you. Two police officers, sworn to protect our citizens and and finally rushing in after so many were injured and bleeding: dead because of you.

You cannot change the subject away from your guilt. You cannot shift the focus away from yourself and your White Supremacist followers by insisting that there is blame “on many sides” and that hatred, bigotry, and violence has been “going on for a long time in our country.” As Chris Cillizza, CNN Editor-at-large clearly states,”

“Chalking it all up to a violent political rhetoric that occurs on both sides and has been around for a very long time contextualizes and normalizes the behavior of people who should not be normalized.”

You have normalized the behavior of White Supremacists, and because of this, three people are dead and 19 are wounded. Your more recent statement that “Racism is evil…And those who cause violence in its name are criminals and thugs, including the KKK, neo Nazis, white supremacists and other hate groups that are repugnant to everything we hold dear as Americans” is a step in the right direction, but it does not diminish the damage you have already caused. It does not assuage you of your guilt.

You have blood on your hands, sir. You may not have driven the car into the crowd, but just like Lady Macbeth, your words caused the deaths of 3 innocent people. You cannot wash this blood away, no matter how many times you wring your hands and change the subject.

If you were truly presidential, you would understand that “The President—whoever he is—has to decide. He can’t pass the buck to anybody. No one else can do the deciding for him. That’s his job.” – President Harry S. Truman, 1953

You have to decide, Mr. President, to look in the mirror and acknowledge: you have blood on your hands. You did this. And it is now your responsibility to stop it. The buck stops with you, Mr. President. It is time for you to own what you have caused. It is time for you to call evil by its name, even when you are looking in the mirror.

Sincerely,

Letters2Trump

Note on the image: Suspected Murderer James Alex Fields stands in a line with young neo-Nazis and fascists before the Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville on Saturday.  He holds a round black shield belonging to Vanguard America, a group who actively recruits college-aged white men and operates under the slogan “the face of American fascism.”

(Originally posted at Letters2Trump.)

Day 174 – A Piece of Legislation We Could All Get Behind, Mr. President. The Think Before You Act…Act.

Dear Mr. President,

You and your spokespersons have insisted that you have signed more bills during your time as president than any other president in American history. And, in a bizarre twist, Politifact has rated this claim as mostly true. You have, in fact, shown a very keen desire to sign your name as often as possible. However, it turns out that only one of these new laws has actually created a new policy. The majority of the rest of your signatures have been on laws that “have been passed through the Congressional Review Act, which allows Congress to roll back regulations imposed by the executive branch, and are aimed at dismantling former President Barack Obama’s legislative legacy.” This really isn’t groundbreaking legislation after all.

Photograph from Words Without Borders

And so, I have a proposition for you: I propose that you craft a piece of legislation that not only would be groundbreaking and legacy-creating, but that would actually make America greater.

I would like to propose that you create and sign a law instituting a mandatory “count to 10” rule. As any parent knows, a “count to 10” rule is a great way to teach children anger management. 

Thomas Jefferson said, “When angry, count ten, before you speak; if very angry, a hundred.”

Just think of the legacy you could leave if you taught our entire country to stop, count to 10, and actually think before speaking. Think of all the lies you would no longer have to tell if the law of the nation demanded that you stop and think before responding. Think of the covfefe you would no longer have to tweet.

As Dan Johnston, PhD and assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral science at Mercer University School of Medicine explains on WebMD, “The “energy” of anger often leads to impulsive behavior that only aggravates an already tense situation. If given enough time to cool off, however, most people can learn to control their initial impulses.”

If the citizens of our country could learn to control their initial impulses, just imagine all of the violence that would no longer occur. Think of the strides we could make in human decency and global policy if only we could learn to control our impulsivity and anger. “Don’t react,” says Johnston. “Respond. Make a carefully considered choice about the best course of action to take and guide your response by the three anger-regulating principles of empathy, compassion, and assertion.”

Imagine a country where impulsivity was replaced by empathy, compassion, and assertion. Imagine what an incredible leader you could be if you simply learned to count to 10 (or 100, or 1,000) and considered the consequences of your actions before you acted. Imagine the civil discourse that could occur if we all stopped aggressively reacting and instead started thoughtfully asserting our ideas and responses with empathy and compassion.

You could lead by example and start exercising this behavior. You could encourage your children/cabinet to do the same. You could demand that those who voted for you and those who voted against you stop sniping at each other, take a deep breath, count to 10, and then speak and act with civility.

You could actually make a difference. You could actually make our country greater than it already is. But first, you have to stop throwing petulant temper tantrums. You have to stop mocking civility and instead be mindful of it. Take a deep breath. Count to 10. Act and speak with empathy, compassion, and assertion. Be a calm and thoughtful leader. I promise you, your countrymen will notice your example. They will follow your lead. You could make this newfound civility the law of the land.

Sincerely,

Letters2Trump

(Originally posted at Letters2Trump.)

To the man who felt it necessary to question my son in the bathroom at IHOP

Dear Sir:

I don’t know why you felt the need to tell my eight-year-old son that he was in the wrong bathroom at IHOP. I’m not sure why you felt that his presence was a problem. What was your intention? If you truly felt that he was a girl, and that you were somehow going to protect him by questioning his gender, wouldn’t it have been even more effective to simply just make sure that he was okay? Why were you so concerned about his gender? Shouldn’t you just have finished your business, washed your hands, and gone back to your pancakes? After all, that’s what my son was planning to do. Instead, you told him he was in the wrong restroom. And when he told you he was a boy, you informed him that he didn’t look like one. And then you took it one step further: you told him he should cut his hair.

My son came back to the table, explaining that some man just told him he was in the wrong bathroom, that he looked like a girl, and that he should cut his hair. I asked my son how he responded to you. He explained that he just told you that he was a boy, but that he wished he could have told you that you were rude. I wanted to give my son permission to tell you that you were rude. In fact, I flippantly told him that he should have said exactly that. But, I have raised my kids to understand that telling someone they are rude is, in fact, a bit rude. My son said, “nah. That would have been awkward.” And so my son let it slide. But he was definitely shaken by your rudeness.

What right do you have to tell an eight-year-old child what he should and shouldn’t do with his hair? I have raised my son and my daughter to understand that their bodies = their property, and that no one else has the right to touch their bodies without their permission. And this goes for their hair as well as any other parts. They have autonomy over their own bodies, sir, and you have no right to tell them or anyone else what to do with --or to-- their bodies.

My son likes his hair. He knows that people, at first glance, think he's a girl. And he's okay with that. "I'm a boy," he says, and usually they say, "oh, sorry man! Great hair!" and then he goes on with his life. He's comfortable in his own skin, and he's comfortable with who he is. But he's not comfortable with a stranger telling him what he should or should not do with his body. "It's my hair," he said. "Why does that man even care about it?"

I know that girls have had the same issue recently. Our policing of gender has escalated, because somehow we all believe it is our duty to put each and every person into a box convenient to our limited understanding. Or maybe our policing of gender norms has always been this opinionated, and it’s only recently that we’ve become obsessed with bathrooms.

It seems to me that what really needs to be done in the bathroom is related much more to hygiene than to gender policing. And what my son needed was the chance to pee, wash his hands, and then come back to the table to eat his pancakes. If you truly wanted to be helpful, sir, you could have simply said “hi” and just made sure he could reach the paper towels. If you felt that commenting on his appearance was somehow necessary, you could have said, “hey, kid, nice hair.” And, if you really felt it appropriate to give him some advice, saying, “you have a nice day,” would be totally in line. Just think: you wouldn’t have felt so self-righteous and you would have taught a young kid how to be a decent human being. Instead, you pulled rank on an eight-year-old kid and taught my son exactly what kind of a man he never wants to be.

Day 143 - It’s Time for Contemplation…and Soap, Mr. President.

Dear Mr. President,

You have had, truly, an embarrassing week. From your insensitive and inappropriate response to the London attack, to your feigned bill signing and childish binder tossing of Infrastructure Week, to your inane and incomprehensible responses to Comey’s testimony, you have shown again and again, that you are out of your league.

But today is Sunday, the first day of a whole new week. It’s a day of reflection and a day of looking forward. It’s a day to plan a fresh start. I’ve laid out the steps for you, and it’s fairly simple: only a two-step plan. I’ll call it Contemplation Week.

1.  Read something that doesn’t have your name in it or on it. It’s time to take a lesson from U.S. Secretary of Defense James Mattis. “I like learning about something before I talk,” Mattis said. “So let me look into it.” You really need an education, sir. It is well-documented that you don’t respect education or teachers, and it is clear that you have little understanding of American history, geography, science, or the English language. And yet, without a basic understanding of how the world works, how we got to this point in our evolution as human beings and as a global community, and how to communicate with others, it is nearly impossible for you to move forward in any comprehensive and comprehendible way. Your legacy is crumbling, and if you don’t start to act like an educated and mature adult, your country –and your own children– will be left with nothing but gaudy, empty buildings, gilded but irreverent and irrelevant.

2.  Find a better role model, and then do what they did. So far in your administration, you have been a Typhoid Mary, creating destruction wherever you go, and refusing to acknowledge your role in any of it or change your behavior in any way. Typhoid Mary never learned. She never accepted responsibility, she changed her name and her story wherever she went to avoid detection, and worse yet, she never did the one simple thing she had to do to stop the destruction she was causing: she never chose to simply wash her hands. You, in your almost six months of office, have followed her model of behavior. You refuse to acknowledge your mistakes, you refuse to be transparent and truthful, and you refuse to take the necessary steps to end the destruction. You have blood on your tiny dirty hands, Mr. President. And if you don’t stop your dishonest and destructive behaviors, you will destroy much more than you ever built.

I suggest you start looking for a new role model. Might I suggest Frederick Douglass? I know that you don’t know much about him, so here is a quick summary: he was a slave; he taught himself to read and write; he escaped; he then became an impassioned reformer, a profound writer, a persuasive orator, and a highly respected and influential leader. He was a stalwart Republican, held political office, and changed the face and direction of our country forever. History.com calls him “brilliant, heroic, and complex.” A formidable leader, he “provided an indomitable voice of hope for his people, embraced antislavery politics, and preached his own brand of American ideals.” 

Isn’t this the kind of leader you strive to be? One who leaves a legacy not of destruction and gold-plated vacuous towers, but rather one who has a positive and lasting impact on the very direction of our country? One who affects people not by poisoning them, but rather by instilling in them a sense of self and of self-reflection, creating a path to a more just and humane world for everyone?

Which role model will you pick?

If this letter was TL;DR, here is a summary of your simple two-step plan.

1. Read something.

2. Find a better role model.

Instead of digging yourself deeper and deeper trying to get out of all of the lies you have told, start acting with honor and integrity. Stop denying your part in this mess you have created; stop pretending that your hands are clean. It’s time for Contemplation Week, Mr. President. You are running out of time; your country (and the world) is running out of patience; and your administration is running out of soap.

You can be a better president. Start today.

Sincerely,

Letters2Trump

(Originally posted at Letters2Trump.)

Day 122 – Kiddo Letter: Try to Make a Difference.

A guest post by my daughter. 

Dear Mr. President,

I’m almost 11, and over the years I’ve noticed that girls are treated very differently than men. And, being a girl, I care very much about that. You may not care, because, you  are a man. Youdon’t have to worry about earning less money than men, because you are a man. Before 1920, women weren’t allowed to vote, to own property, or work for equal pay. And, even if you were alive then, it wouldn’t matter. Because you are a man. None of this would affect you much.

But it affects the women around you.

 How are women so different anyway? Sure, maybe their hair is longer, and they have a slightly different body structure, but they can still build things, they can still do sports, and they definitely can do more than sit around all day doing chores and taking care of children.

They can even lead countries, just like Angela Merkel, who was disrespected when someone (a man) refused to shake her hand.

My mom can build and paint just as well as anybody. Our house has undergone many changes. When mom first moved in, the carpet upstairs was a dirty pink. Now it’s a nice shade of blue. The bathroom is now a storage room, and the storage room is now a bathroom. The kitchen cupboards have been repainted several times. Dad didn’t help with any of this, because he moved out when I was about four.

Photo of Helena, age 10, in action taken by Rhonda Morse Photography

I play on a Roller Derby team, and we’re one of the remaining handful of all-girl teams. And, I’ve noticed that on “normal “teams (teams with both genders), they play the boys over and over again, and sit the girls. The experienced girls sit. Who cares if the boys aren’t good? As long a you’re a boy, you might as well go out and play.

You matter more anyway.

I don’t tell you all of this to just to tell you. I’m telling you because as president, you can make a difference.  You can at least try to make a difference. You could try to pass a law to make things equal, or if there already is a law, you could enforce it. Or, you can sit around and pass more American Healthcare Acts.

It’s your choice.

Sincerely,

Helena, age 10

(Originally posted at Letters2Trump.)

Day 106 – Education – Medicaid = Mr. President, It’s Time for School.

Dear Mr. President,

Image by ccpixs.com

Yesterday, a bad thing happened. The House republicans passed The American Healthcare Act, the bill designed to repeal and replace The Affordable Care Act. I know that you are not very interested in reading the bill in its entirety, just as you are not particularly interested in the millions of people this bill will hurt. You see no need to heed the advice and warnings of patient advocacy groups; nor are you interested in listening to the American Medical Association’s condemnation, the American Hospital Association’s condemnation, or the American People.

But I am a public school teacher. My job is to teach every person in the room, regardless of their apathy, enmity, or ability. My job is to individualize instruction for every student and make sure that they all have the resources they need and the hands-on learning they need to be able to truly master the content. (Just yesterday, in fact, I was concisely explaining exactly what The Civil War was all about.) So I am willing to sit with you, Mr. President, and patiently teach you at your individual learning level, so that you can understand what just one of the very serious problems is with this bill.

Before you ignore me and go back to Twitter, know that I am quite used to working with students who would rather be on social media than in the classroom. I also understand that you are not very respectful of teachers in general, but I am quite used to teaching students who are defiant; I have the patience and the perseverance to work with you and help you succeed. I also know that, instead of taking the opportunity to ask the highly qualified and highly professional and highly respected Teachers of the Year to tell you about the true state of public education in our nation, you instead asked them to pose for photos with you and sing Happy Birthday to your wife. No matter. I’ve been doing my job much, much longer than you have been doing yours. I have thick skin.

Because I earn a teacher’s salary, I cannot afford to fly to Washington D.C. or Mar-a-Lago to meet with you. But if you would be willing to visit my classroom, I would welcome you. After all, I teach 150 students a day; there is always room for one more. During your visit, I will introduce you to the many students who, without the vision testing paid for by Medicaid, would not be able to read because they would not be able to actually see. I will introduce you to the one-on-one aides who work in our building, their salaries paid for by Medicaid, so that students with severe disabilities can get a “Free Appropriate Public Education tailored to their individual needs” (which is, of course, required under the Individuals with Disabilities Act.) I will patiently explain to you what will happen to high-needs students with disabilities once the Medicaid funding is cut. I will show you the language in The American Healthcare Act, that says that states would no longer have to consider schools as eligible Medicaid providers. As noted in a recent New York times article, “School districts rely on Medicaid, the federal health care program for the poor, to provide costly services to millions of students with disabilities across the country.”

I would show you the statement put out by AASA, The School Superintendents Association, strongly rejecting the American Healthcare Act, succinctly pointing out “School-based Medicaid programs serve as a lifeline to children who often can’t access critical health care and health services outside of their schools.” And I would explain to you that the word “lifeline” in their statement is not simply a hyperbolic metaphor, but is literally an explanation that, without these school-based Medicaid programs, lives will be lost.

And if my words and teaching methods still don’t help you master the lessons, I will ask my colleagues to help. Together, we will do everything in our power to show you the steps you need to take to reverse this course of action. It is imperative that you learn how to lead our country forward, into a place where all students, regardless of need or disability, will have a chance to truly succeed. You can expect that we will be willing to stick around and teach as long as you are willing to learn. We would teach you, Mr. President, because teaching is what we do. We are passionate about our profession, and we are passionate about every single student in the room. We treat them all with equity and respect and empathy, and you can expect that we will treat you the same way. In fact, you can expect that you will leave our district truly impressed with the quality of public education in our country.

And you can also expect that you will finally, truly understand that the services provided by Medicaid are critical for our citizens, for our students, and for our schools.

Just don’t expect us to sing to your wife.

Sincerely,

Letters2Trump

(Originally posted at Letters2Trump.)

Day 73 – Defunding Planned Parenthood Puts Your Voters At Risk -- And It’s Wrong.

Dear Mr. President,

Photograph from Max Pixel

I know that you have the ability to love women. After all, you’ve married several of them, you’ve fathered several of them, and you have said that your mother, above all women, made you the man that you are. Although you have bragged about your sexual prowess and sexual abuse of women, you have also insisted that no one respects women more than you do.

And, although you are made uncomfortable by truly brilliant and powerful women, you have a great deal of respect for your daughter, elevating her to one of the highest positions in the country, and you allow another woman to speak for you, for better or for worse, across the nation.

You have recently talked about empowering and promoting women, and removing barriers that women face. And yet, when it comes to women’s health, you are balancing on the fencepost of misogyny. Why else would you consider caving to people who value their dogmatic beliefs about abortion more than tangible lives of actual women needing healthcare? You, yourself, have said “But millions and millions of women — cervical cancer, breast cancer — are helped by Planned Parenthood.”

And yet, in the very next breath, you have insisted that you “will not fund it.” You will not fund an organization that provides necessary health services to 2.5 million men and women annuallybecause this organization also provides counselling and abortion services. No matter that it is already against the law for public money to pay for abortion, and no matter that Planned Parenthood carefully and systematically tracks all funding and follows the law, and no matter that 97% of what Planned Parenthood does has nothing to do with abortion services. You would defund it because a vocal minority in our country insists that women should not have access to health care provided by an organization that they don’t like.

The Republicans in the Senate have gleefully passed a bill that would allow states to strip funding from Planned Parenthood. And, although this bill allows for “community health centers” to receive the funds instead, the actual existence of these health centers is in question. In fact, in much of our country, Planned Parenthood is literally the only option for women’s health services. There are no health centers that women can access in these areas. And poor women, especially, do not have the means to drive hours across state lines in order to have a breast exam, or have access to birth control, or receive prenatal care.

It is time to separate facts from rhetoric, Mr. President, and it is time for you to take a stand and speak the truth. Either you openly admit that poor people, and especially poor women, don’t deserve healthcare in our country and you sign this bill, or you stand up against the misogynistic bullies and point out that all women deserve access to healthcare. If you sign this bill defunding Planned Parenthood, you must also vocally acknowledge that this will result in more deaths, more pregnancies, more cancers, more poverty, and more abortions. This is on you, Mr. President. You have the chance to speak up and let your voice be heard. With a stroke of your pen, you will tell the world how you really feel about women.

We are listening. And watching everything you do.

Sincerely,

Letters2Trump

(Originally posted at Letters2Trump.)

Day 39 – States’ Rights Do Not Trump Human Rights

Dear Mr. President, 

You like to be right. You had a chance to be on the right side of history.

You like to build things. You had the chance to be on the foundational end of building a more inclusive and safer world for our children.

You consider yourself an enforcer, a powerful man. You could have enforced a basic human rights issue: that of the right to be able to pee.

You like to be compared to famous people. You could have been the Abraham Lincoln of the right for all students to safely urinate without needless obsession about their genitalia or birth certificates.

Photograph by Geoff Livingston

And yet, you caved. You backed down from your statements about bathroom laws, and you caved to the fetishization of trans people. “There have been very few complaints the way it is. People go, they use the bathroom that they feel is appropriate,” you said. “There has been so little trouble.” And yet, you couched your beliefs about the need to “protect all people, even though it’s a tiny percentage of 1 percent” with the hopes that “most states would ‘make the right decisions.’” You caved to the fetishization of “States’ Rights” over “Human Rights,” knowing full well that states often willingly trample on human rights until they are forced to recognize human rights for all.

You caved to the right to discriminate.

The federal government has a duty to uphold and protect and even establish rights that pockets of our union might not be ready to accept. But just because they are not yet ready to end their discrimination does not mean that the discrimination is okay. Sometimes the federal government needs to lead the way.

States were wrong about slavery.

States were wrong about secession.

States were wrong about the definition of marriage.

States were wrong about separate but equal facilities.

States are often wrong.

You had a chance to be right.

I beg you to look into your own soul, and consider what protections you would want for your own family members. You cannot deny those protections to others. And you cannot hide under the banner of States’ Rights.

I beg you to meet with  Jackie Evancho and her sister, and truly understand what transgender people deal with every day.

I beg you to educate yourself, by reading the Transgender Lives stories hosted at the New York Times website, and by visiting the National Center for Transgender Equality website.  Read the Human Rights Campaign resources. And while you’re at it, educate yourself on Transgender Law. Step outside of your bubble of fear and fearmongering and talk to the people you were elected to lead. Talk to all of them.

I beg you to put an end to this ridiculous obsession to control where people pee by reinstating the federal guidelines that provided protections to transgender students.

You have a chance to do the right thing, and to be on the right side of history. Because, eventually, this issue will be resolved nationally. The right to discriminate based on gender will be eliminated within your lifetime by the enforcement of Title IX…much like the right to own people was eliminated in 1865 by the 13th Amendment (except, of course, when it comes to prisons, but that is another letter).And you have a chance to be a strong leader, and tell those States who wish to discriminate that they are wrong. Tell all of them.

Do not push down to the States those issues that must be handled nationally. Because eventually your inability to take a national stand will be revealed to be what it actually is: your inability to stand up for what is right.

You have a chance to be on the right side of history on this one.

Do the right thing, Mr. President. After all, you pride yourself on being very smart. Make a decision that you can be proud of. Protect our children. Protect all of them.

We are waiting.

Sincerely,

Letters2Trump

(Originally posted at Letters2Trump.)