The Coronacation Diaries, Episode 58

The Teachers Are Not Alright

In my weekly check-ins with my students, I always ask them to ask me a question. Without fail, every week (even though I have already answered this question in the videos I record), several of them ask me if I like teaching this way and if it is easier.

Photo by Hennie Stander on Unsplash

No.

Good god, no.

1000 times NO.

This sucks. It doesn't matter how hard I try to engage students, to create activities that are thoughtful, to record personal videos, to give extensive feedback --none of this feels like it's working. With only 2/3 of students turning anything in (and much of that is clearly done in the last 5 minutes before the midnight deadline) it is clear that, no matter what I create, I am not going to be able to really get them to engage.

Teaching is built on relationships. And even though I have never been known as a warm, fuzzy, hugger of a teacher, I have always worked really hard to build relationships, to connect with students, to interact with them individually, to meet them where they are and then try to push them farther than they'd probably like. Teaching English is all about critical thinking, about provoking students to ask hard questions and seek out answers. And it is nearly impossible to do any of this when kids just don't --can't-- won't show up.

And if they don't --can't-- won't write anything thoughtful, then I can't give them thoughtful feedback. I can't push them to go deeper, to write harder, if they haven't even really tried. If they don't show up to office hours (only two students ever have), then I can't ask them if they are okay. If they don't respond to my emails and text messages and Facebook messages, then they definitely won't respond to my attempts to get them to write.

Let me be clear: this is not on them. This is not a "kids these days" rant, because kids these days are dealing with a ridiculous situation the best way they know how. And this is not a "if only the parents" rant, because the parents are just trying to keep their families' heads above water. This is not a "the system is broken" rant, because there was no system in place to handle a shut-down of schools because of a pandemic. This is not on any of us. This just is.

This is not what our students have signed up for. This is not what their parents have signed up for. This is definitely not what we signed up for. And although there are ways to provide thoughtful and thought-provoking education in online settings, it only works if everyone is on board, not if everyone is just treading water in the near vicinity.

I don't know what teaching in the fall will look like; I'm afraid to think too much about it. With rumors of funding cuts in education upwards of 25%, I can't even fathom how we would do more with even less. But I do know that we would continue to show up, just like we are right now, and continue to bang our heads on the brick wall of this situation, hoping that --if we just hit our heads a little bit harder-- sunlight might begin to show through the cracks.