13

 He was 13 years old.

13.

My son is 12.

My daughter is 14.

I can promise you, I made some very poor decisions when I was 13. 

Adam Toledo was 13.

The state has already figured out its spin: gang violence. It's all the fault of the gangs, of the 21 year old who put a gun into Adam Toledo's hands. The Blue Lives Matter crowd will run with it. He had a gun. He was in a gang. He was bad. Dangerous. He should have complied with authority.

He was 13.

It's never the fault of the adult cop who got trigger happy. The adult cop who, for whatever reason, made a split second decision to pull the trigger. The adult cop who, for whatever reason, saw a weapon instead of raised hands, hands in surrender, hands in the air. Just hands. A kid. A scared fucking kid.

It doesn't matter what Adam Toledo was doing out that night. He was a kid, and kids make some dumbassawful decisions. He was a kid, disenfranchised. He was a kid who had found friends on the streets, a kid who was lonely. A kid who wanted to belong. He was a kid, doing kid shit he shouldn't be doing, pushing boundaries he shouldn't push, hanging out with the wrong crowd. He was a kid. He was all of us when we were 13.

It's the responsibility of the adults in the room to hold Adam Toledo close. To help him safely navigate his world. To help him find friends. To help him.

Not to fucking pull the trigger and murder him.

Adam Toledo was 13. And I am sick, thinking about my own kids and their shitty decision making skills, and the adults I entrust to keep them safe.

If you can't tell the difference between a kid --unarmed, hands in the air in surrender-- and a violent threat: then you should. not. be. armed. 

Fox News will blame everyone but the cop.

And Chicago will probably burn. 

I wish I could set something on fire.

And Adam Toledo is dead.

He was 13.