Tuesday, June 9, 2020

The Coronacation Diaries, Episode 86

The COVID-19 is REAL


Symptoms of COVID 19: 
Puffy face. Puffy upper arms. Puffy ankles. Puffy knees. Puffiness.
Distended midsection.
Generalized Sweating.
Shortness of breath, especially while climbing stairs.
Uncontrolled outbursts of cursing while putting on a bra.
Loss of manual dexterity resulting in inability to button pants.
Continuous urge to consume alcohol.
Overwhelming sense of ennui.
Photo by Jen Theodore on Unsplash

Available Treatments
Mirror removal and disposal.
Bra removal and disposal.
Old Navy pajama pants.
Boxed wine.
Elastic.
Ranch housing. (Do not confuse with Ranch dressing.)
Clothing sizes with "X" prefixes.
Online shopping. Free returns.
Low lighting. Maybe even darkness.








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