The Coronacation Diaries: Episode 3

The One Where Texting Destroys All Attempts at Communication

Part of the torture of social distancing is the lack of face-to-face communication. It's nearly impossible to read tone in a text message, and it's often way too complicated and way too disjointed to have any soft of meaningful conversation. 

Disclaimer: I HATE talking on the phone. Hate it. I'm really bad at it. But, it turns out that I am also really, really bad at texting. And so is everyone else. Autocorrect is not our friend. 

So far today, I've introduced myself to my daughter's teacher as "Jeremiah g," had to Google what a "chelate" was, fed a vegetarian chicken noodle soup, and texted the babysitter about "surprise sex." I can't even make this up.

Speaking of educational endeavors, if you are like me, you've heard the word "chelate" before, but not known what it was. So, I googled it (like a life-long learner), and learned that a chelate is: 

 noun

CHEMISTRY

1. a compound containing a ligand (typically organic) bonded to a central metal atom at two or more points.

This definition does not at all explain what is then meant by the following text message...

When I asked for clarification, there was a very confusing back and forth that eventually needed a screenshot before I learned that chelate actually was supposed to be "chocolate." Which, I might add, I never did get to sample. 

She did get to sample the chicken noodle soup in the Crock-Pot, however. 

But the winner winner chicken (soup) dinner text of the day is offered below, without further anticipation or explanation.

     

 TL;DR: if the Coronavirus doesn't destroy our civilization, communicating via text message most certainly will.