The Coronacation Diaries, Episode 43

I Want to be an Ostrich

Taxidermed Ostritch by Maurizio Cattelan (b. 1960); sold for GBP 1,538,500

I want to bury my head in the sand and pretend that this is all going to be over soon. I want to believe that I might actually still get to see my bucket list concerts this summer. I have waited 30 years to see Guns and Roses. I have waited 20 years to see Rage Against the Machine. This was my bucket list summer. I want to believe it's not slipping through my fingers once again.

I want to imagine that I will still get to go to New York at some point for the New York Times Teaching Project, just like I imagined, hope against hope a few months ago, that I might have a chance to get accepted. 

I want to believe that school will go on as normal next year. I want to ignore every article I see that says that if and when schools open again, they will never be the same. This isn't how we are supposed to teach. This isn't what's in the best interest, long term, for our students and their families. This isn't healthy for my own children. This isn't what we signed up for.

I want to reassure my daughter from another mother that MSU will open in the fall; that she will have a place to go, a new home, a chance to start her life.

I want to dream that my son might still get a bit of baseball season this summer, that he might still get to play on that team that he worked so hard to make.

I want to pretend that the scientists and doctors who are saying it will take at least a year...I want to pretend that they are just being overly cautious. That they don't want to get our hopes up. That they have to prepare for the worst case scenario...but that it might not take that long. It might not take long at all. I want to pretend.

I want to bury my head in the sand and pretend that --if we all just stay home and wash our hands-- soon, things will start to go back to normal and we can start to get our lives back.

But even ostriches don't really bury their heads in the sand. That's just an old myth that we still believe.