The Coronacation Diaries, Episode 24

THESE SAME FACES

I love my people. I do. If I had to shelter-in-place, these are the people I would have chosen to shelter with. I love getting to see my kids more than just in the rear-view mirror as we race from sports practices to school events every night. I love hearing my son practice guitar regularly. I love taking long walks with my daughter and my partner and my dog. The family dinners have been great (except for the complaints about the food). My daughter's daily demand for me to "spill the tea" cracks me up; a month ago, she would have rolled her eyes if I even tried to start a conversation.

But, if I have to hear "Ya like Jazz?" one more time, I'm going to stab myself in the thigh, Portia-style, just to be able to run out of the room and get a Band-aid. When and why did Vines and TikToks become actual ways to have conversations and how can I make this stop?

I love these faces. I do. But THESE SAME FACES EVERY DAY are kind of driving me insane.

Why does every bite have to be so noisy? And who slurps coffee? NO ONE! No one slurps coffee! Except for the people living in this house. They are slurpers.

And who hates pizza? And chicken nuggets? and macaroni and cheese? And vegetables? And fruit? NO ONE! No one hates these things! Except for the people living in my house. Buncha haters.

I'm tired of the perky yoga instructor and her ridiculous optimism. I'm definitely tired of Jillian Michaels and I kinda want to punch her in the (very toned) face.

I'm tired of my Facebook feed. I'm tired of seeing the same stories over and over again. And I'm really tired of seeing ads in my feed for stretch pants. I GET IT, FACEBOOK. I GET IT. I NEED TO WORK OUT MORE. QUIT ATTACKING ME.

I am so impressed at how quickly my son has picked up guitar. And the chords he plays are gorgeous. And I love that he loves the Beatles unconditionally, truly unique for an 11 year old. But for the love of all that is music, PLEASE learn songs other than the Beatles! I just can't "Yellow Submarine" any more. I JUST CAN'T.

My dog is the most amazing dog in the world and you cannot convince me otherwise. But I am SO TIRED of THROWING THE BALL.

I love my people. I do. And I am so incredibly lucky that we are all here, safe, healthy, and (mostly) happy. We are so incredibly privileged and I am so incredibly thankful.

But these same faces every single day, day in and day out, are kind of driving me insane.