The Coronacation Diaries, Episode 38

Virtually Ridiculous 

Virtual learning in my household is slowly destroying my will to live.

Although we have twice as many devices as people in this house, none of them are new or powerful. This results in a tug-of-war battle-of-wills over who gets which device at what time for what purpose.

Today at 11, I was supposed to be holding a live class via Zoom, to run a simulation AP Lit exam for my students. Because I don't have a desk, the kitchen table was going to have to suffice; I needed the white Chromebook because it has a slightly bigger CPU and I was having to actually live-teach a class. In order to get everything set up, I created a Google doc with the stable prompt wording (minus the book title and author name, as that new development was just released by the College Board last week, even though we have been practicing TAG-led thesis statements all damn year); I created another Google doc with the text excerpt the students would be writing on; I created the Google Classroom assignment to push out the prompts to the kids; I opened the Zoom room; I got ready to paste the join code into Remind for my students. It was 10:55.

Meanwhile, Helena needed to set up a Chromebook for her own Zoom meeting at 11:30 with her social studies class. She informed me at 10:56 that she wanted the white Chromebook, not the green one, because the white one has a better camera. I told her she'd have to settle for the green one. She stomped up the stairs, slammed the door, and scream/sobbed that she just wasn't going to go to class because none of this mattered anyway. It was 10:58.

Photo by Marvin Meyer on Unsplash

I raced up the stairs to try to find the green Chromebook for her, because it wasn't on the charger. Sam was using it to work on his classwork. I told him he'd have to wait to do his classwork; his sister needed that one. He could use a different device or wait 40 minutes. He melted down, insisted he'd lose all his progress, and scream/sobbed that he just wasn't going to do school today because none of this mattered anyway.  It was 11:02.

I ran back downstairs, sent out the join code, and started class. 4 kids showed up right away. I began explaining how the exam simulation was going to work. At 11:06, I more kid showed up. I started over. At 11:08, Another kid showed up. I started over. [Sam chose this time to knock on Helena's door to hand her the green Chromebook; much cursing ensued.] At 11:10, another kid showed up. I started over. [Sam decided to eat pop tarts next to me.] Only 7 kids were there out of the 15 enrolled in AP Lit, but based on participation the last 5 weeks, I will call that a win. Finally, at 11:12, I started the exam for them and turned off my mic. Michael decided to eat lunch next to me and got in an argument with Sam about whose placemat was whose. It was 11:15.

At noon, I had a staff meeting via Zoom. I ran two computers for this one, so that I could be on documents as well as being on camera without crashing the computer. I was also simultaneously monitoring the completed assignments for my 80 juniors from last week, to begin to try to track down all the students who aren't showing up at all; pushing out the new assignment for this week; and contacting the AP Lit students who hadn't shown up for the exam simulation. I was stoked as my phone started blowing up with notifications from my juniors turning in an assignment to my Google Voice mailbox that I had set up as an alternate to recording a video in Flipgrid. YES! Engagement! Until I realized that no students were putting their names on their assignments, so I had no idea who had turned any of the assignments in. I went back in to the posted assignment to change the wording and remind students to put their names on their work if they were turning it in to Google Voice; hopefully that will help, if they read the directions?

Finally, the staff meeting was over. It was 12:30. I spent a couple of hours "grading," trying to give positive feedback in lieu of grades, since the work is not optional, but it is also not graded. I agree completely with the mantra "Maslow's over Bloom's," but I do struggle with giving the same "grade" to a student who wrote two sentences, compared to a student who wrote a masterpiece. Meanwhile, Sam, upstairs, was fighting with IXL, trying to teach himself 6th grade math. Every question he got correct, he scored 3 points. Every question he got wrong, he lost 10 points. He got a question wrong. And then another. And then another. And while I tried to not intervene, to let him work through his own frustration, I worked through my own grading dilemma, trying to figure out how to encourage more meaningful participation from the students who are showing up, and wracking my brain to figure out how to get the missing kids to even show up at all.

I decided to take a break and check in to Flipgrid, to see what had been turned in there.

And here, folks, is a screenshot of the first video submitted (posted with permission by his mother).

Somebody please kill me now.