The Coronacation Diaries, Episode 72

No Visitors Allowed

Since this pandemic hit, I've watched, through the protective distance of social media, as a friend dealt with the loss of her father. No visits with family, no funeral, no chance to celebrate a life. I've watched another family that I've taught for decades reel from the loss of both a patriarch and a matriarch. No visits with family, no funeral, no chance to celebrate those lives well lived.

I've also watched the birth announcements hit, as women I know gave birth alone, surrounded by medical staff but no loved ones. A laptop with a live feed is no replacement for sitting with the woman you love, as she brings a life into this world. From the safety behind my own computer screen, I have wondered what it must feel like, to bring a helpless and vulnerable child into this world right now, when we all feel a little bit helpless and vulnerable ourselves.

Photo credit: ABC13 WLOS staff

Today, someone I hold very dear is suddenly hospitalized, states away. Do I hop on a flight and take my chances? And if so, to do what, exactly? To sit in a hotel room in the same city as the hospital? There are no visitors allowed.

In times like these, we should be together, not miles and miles apart. This keyboard and this computer screen are no replacement for human contact. We knew this. We've always known this. We've just pretended to ourselves that, somehow, virtual was just as good as actual. 

But it's not, and we can't pretend that it is. I can't hold a hand through this screen. I can't sit with someone in their physical or emotional pain when I can't be near them. This no contact, virtual world is a lousy substitution for sitting with the people we love when they feel a little bit helpless and vulnerable.