Thursday, May 7, 2020

The Coronacation Diaries, Episode 53

#TeamAXL


I have a long, complicated relationship with Axl Rose. He was my high school boyfriend, although I definitely forgot to tell him about it. It doesn't matter that he never knew who I was. I KNEW HIM. I knew his pain, and his talent, and the way he moved, like a serpent rising from the ashes of his life. That bandana, that head of scraggly hair that no amount of hairspray or teasing could make 80's glam...he was a tortured asshole and I loved him.

The first time I was supposed to see him in concert was in 1991, during the Use Your Illusion tour. But that concert got cancelled, due to the St. Louis incident. Rescheduled in 92, the concert got cancelled when he cut his hand on a microphone stand. I had to settle for a refund, because the next reschedule conflicted with an overseas study I was on.

Throughout the years, the drugs, the alcohol, the rants, the band breaking up, and new the lineups, I always had a soft spot in my heart for Axl, even when he got a bit...soft. And this summer, finally, Guns N' Roses is back together, touring again, and we have tickets.

Except, of course, the chances of that concert actually happening are slim, because the planet is locked down. And it will be the 4th time I've held tickets and not seen the band.

But no worries: Axl is still out there, keepin' it real, taking on Steve Mnuchin on Twitter. Axl gives no fucks. He follows nobody. He tweets rarely. He makes up his own grammar rules. And he calls it like he sees it, telling Mnuchin he's an asshole for claiming, on Fox Business News, that "It's a great time for people to explore America." Even better, when Mnuchin claps back but posts the Liberian flag instead of the American flag, Axl doesn't let it slide. He's tweeted exactly 312 times, and aimed quite a few of those at our incompetent government.


Axl, love, I will see you someday. Thanks for helping me get through this dark time in our country and in our wold. We will get through this pandemic, eventually. All we need is a little patience.

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