Thursday, May 14, 2020

The Coronacation Diaries, Episode 60

Your Mom Is Tired


Kids, please gently encourage your mom to be sensible and to go to bed tonight. She is up way too late every night, watching just one more episode, reading just one more chapter, pouring just one more glass of wine. She is reveling in the silence, in the fact that the only people arguing in the room can be muted with a simple click, in the comfort that the dog won't complain about the food, in the knowledge that the cat won't slam the door.
Photo by Yuris Alhumaydy on Unsplash

She is tired, your mom, but it's more of a weariness than a physical exhaustion. Sure, she only got four hours of sleep last night, but that's nothing next to the energy leech of the constant work emails and remind messages and late work. She is drained from trying to connect with students and get them to engage. She is wiped out by trying to keep everyone from arguing and trying to keep everyone fed and trying to tiptoe around everyone's emotions and trying to find a space for everyone in the house. She is tired of trying to simultaneously be unseen whilst juggling four plates, three kids, two adults working from home, and emceeing one 3-ring circus.

Your mom needs a day off, kids, but what would that look like? Where would she go? And who would pour your Honey Nut Cheerios into the bowl? Who would find the clean socks for you? Who would set up your Zoom meeting with your friends? Who would nag you to do your school work? Who would remind you to wash your hair at some point this week?

Your mom hates the claustrophobia of wearing a mask, of smelling her own moist breath, of not being able to see unimpeded by cloth climbing into her eyes. But someone has to buy more groceries. Someone has to fill your allergy prescription, someone has to get more dog food, someone has to buy her more wine. That someone is your mom, trying to remember to get all the things so that she doesn't have to expose you day after day to the risks out there.

Your mom is drained from arguing with people on social media who insist that this is just the flu, that Sweden did it right, that the kids in ICU are there because they've been kept in the house too long, not because of  exposure COVID-19. Your mom is broken from reading the horrible things said about our Governor, from seeing the ridiculous displays of toxic masculinity parading around the capitol, showing off their giant knock-off Armalite phalli.

Your mom is trying not to think about the things that might not happen this summer, the elderly relatives we might not get to visit, the campground reservations we might have to cancel, the concerts that won't happen, the summer camps that have already disappeared.

I know that you are also exhausted, kids. You're frustrated and bored and have too much on your plate and not enough social activities to keep you sane. I know you are tired of the food and of each other and of the worksheets and of the same thing day after day after day. I know that you are tired of all of this. But just remember, kids--

So's your mom.

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