The Coronacation Diaries, Episode 64

The Day It Never Stopped Raining (It's a Party Up in Here)

-also-

Quarantine: A Paradox.

Photo by Kevin Delvecchio on Unsplash

Weeks ago, my daughter from another mother suggested that we have a Powerpoint party. At the time, it sounded hilarious, but also intimidating. I wasn't sure I had an idea good enough to really be entertaining. I definitely wasn't sure the kids and the partner would go for it. 

A week later, a friend on Facebook posted her family's topics for the Powerpoint party they were having, and I realized that this was something we needed in our lives.

It took some time to get everyone on board, and for everyone to get their presentation finished. But tonight was the night. I had nicked the clicker from my classroom, we hooked up the laptop to the tv, and we were ready to roll. 

In case you wondered what a Powerpoint party is, it's exactly what you think it is. Everyone picks a topic, a niche, something they feel strongly about. It can be serious, it can be funny, it can be obscure, it can be common knowledge. You can hold them face-to-face if you are lucky enough to shelter-in-place with friends and family, or you can hold them via zoom if you are sheltering from afar. Either way, the specificity of the topics is key. It's gotta be your niche of knowledge, your passion project on the random.

After dinner, it was time. I put our names into a random order generator. I was up first.

My topic? "Why Rush Sucks." I proceeded to educate my family on the horrors of Sorority rush, Rush Limbaugh, and Rush the band. Rush, no matter the model, has terrible fashion sense, is pompous and ridiculous, and just simply sucks.

Michael followed with "Delaware: First State? Or Worst State?" and by the end of it we all agreed that any state that smelled like swamps and chicken farms and had more corporations than actual people was kind of its own level of dreadful; we gladly watched the last minute of Fight Club (minus the penis splice) as Wilmington crashed to the ground.

Second daughter was next with "Fictional Characters Who Definitely Voted Republican." Some, like American Dad and Mr. Krabs, are obvious. But we also realized that Hank Hill would be first in line for a protest haircut, that Willy Wonka had serious OSHA violations, that Elmer Fudd was a yee yee, and that Shrek loved to kick foreigners off his land. (Joe Dirt, although definitely a sharer of "Whitler" memes, probably wouldn't actually bother to vote IRL.)

Sam then thoughtfully explained why "Marvel is Better than DC" and his criteria were faultless. After considering the Chris count and the quality of spandex in the universes, we had to agree.

Finally, Helena ended the show with her scientific system of rating "Peeled Fruits." Surprisingly, the peeled lemons scored higher than the peeled pomegranates. Not surprisingly, peeled blueberries should never exist. Ever.

It maybe lasted 30 minutes, but this was one of those nights we will remember long after. I haven't laughed that much with the people I love since our State shut down. We didn't argue or snipe even once, and we all agreed that this had to happen again; it had to become a recurring thing. 

In our "normal" lives, back when we "had a life," this night never would have happened. BC (Before Corona) I never would have known how awful Delaware is, how Republican Sue Sylvester really was, how important the Chris count is, and now uncomfortable a peeled blueberry makes me feel. And I never would have stopped moving for long enough to do something silly and ridiculous and pointless and forever memorable with the people I love.