The Coronacation Diaries, Episode 62

Standing on my Head

I started doing yoga years ago, as an addition to running. I will openly admit it, I didn't begin a yoga practice in order to find my zen and balance my chakras (or open my chakras, or even understand what my chakras were) or to become more in-tune with the mind/body/soul connection; I started yoga because I wanted arms like Madonna. (Do it: Google "Madonna arms" right now, and click "images.")

I continued yoga through both pregnancies, and then continued on my own in my living room for several more years after the kids were born. But over the last 5 years, as the pounds crept on and as I took on more and more responsibilities (see: girl scout leader, conference presenter, book writer, doctorate getter), I did less and less yoga. In the last year leading up to the broken ankle incident, I did...none. No yoga.

So, this attempting to regain a yoga practice (See The Coronacation Diaries, Episode 6, written 7 years ago when we were such babies) has been an interesting challenge. I am much less flexible than I once was, much heavier, much more uncoordinated. And so far, I have learned that there are a lot of yoga poses that I simply cannot do. Yet.

But after several weeks of 3-times-a-week beginner yoga, you know what I CAN do?

I can almost do a chaturanga with the correct-ish form. Almost.

I can topple over onto my face, laughing, from trying to do the splits and getting stuck as my feet slide farther and farther apart.

I can modify almost any pose to one that I can successfully do.

I can breathe, mostly, throughout.

I can yoga with a friend, remotely, with Zoom.

I can yoga with my daughters next to me. ❤

I can laugh hysterically with the girls I love, loudly and often, as we try to contort our bodies to match whatever the instructor is doing, and inevitably fail.

I can encourage a daughter to do a headstand, and watch, with amazement, as she briefly pulls it off.

I can be brave enough to try one of my own.

I can trust in myself that --even if I can't do a headstand now --even if I've never been able to do a headstand in the 15 years that I've been practicing yoga on-and-off --even if I am never able to do a headstand in this lifetime --I will always be brave enough to try.

And if I can't stand on my head someday? That's okay, too. Because it is amazing, the things I can do.

Photo by Nine Köpfer on Unsplash