Friday, May 15, 2020

The Coronacation Diaries, Episode 61

Short Fuses


The sun came out today. It was humid and warm and felt exactly like May should feel. It was a Friday, the last day of a long week. The Mayfair was open for take-out again, and I repeat-dialed like a 12 year old fangirl until I got through, and ordered the best dinner we've had in weeks. I brainstormed with a daughter and we began building a website for our pipedream business. One of the students I've been incredibly worried about contacted me for help, told me "I'd become a teacher she could trust," and asked me to help her get back on track. All-in-all, it should have been a great day.

And yet, when I thought I'd lost an hour's worth of work when an application I attempted to submit returned a blank screen, I almost lost my shit on everyone in the room. Instead, I snapped my computer closed, and silently stalked out of the house. After a (slightly painful) barefoot walk around the block, I felt like I could possibly interact with others without causing them to spontaneously burst into flames from the look in my eyes.

An hour before my almost-lost-my-shit moment, another member of the household snapped, a combination of frustration and annoyance that led to a hostile comment. The snappee stalked (less silently) out of the house and angry-skated back and forth in front of the house for an hour, before coming back inside and slamming into their bedroom.

An hour before that, a different child snapped, reacting much more powerfully than the moment warranted, a raging crescendo of teen injustice.

And when I saw a Facebook post earlier from an entitled, disgruntled community member throwing shade, it was all I could do to not pound out a rage-reply. Instead, I kicked the dog off my armrest in frustration.

Today should have been a great day. And mostly, it was. And yet, our fuses are so short; we are snapping and overreacting and taking it out on each other, on the only people we know who will take it, on the people who don't deserve it, on the ones within striking distance.

Happy 61st birthday, Coronacation. Please end soon, before we all explode.

"It's A Bomb!" by thealmightyprophetgitboy is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0







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